seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Randomize