And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
