she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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