Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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