i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
