I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
