We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
