weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
