Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
