Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
