Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
