At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
So many bounce houses so little time
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
