i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
