We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
