so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
