Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
