Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
