i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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