But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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