Pregnant stripper...not hot.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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