Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Randomize
