I love black thongs
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
