if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Randomize
