Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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