Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
