Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
