Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
