i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
