Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
4 words: hood of his car
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
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