i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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