He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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