This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I queefed so loud it echoed.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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