Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
