how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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