they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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