It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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