I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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