help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
