google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Randomize
