guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
