You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize