I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize