real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
