tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
How naked do you want me to be?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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