I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
