I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
