How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
