OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
