I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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