Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
