good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
