So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
