We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
