he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize