I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
