I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
It's never too late to be topless.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
