ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
They have beer where we have blood.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
