She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize