i jhust puked up my retainher.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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