It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
